Make New Friends, But Keep the Old...

The week before last, Marsha and I went to Williamsburg, Virginia, our old college town, for a reunion of alumni of the college's debate teams, down through the years.  I was on the William and Mary debate team in the early 70s, and because Marsha and I were dating in those years, she knew many of my debate friends too.  We had been disappointed that we wouldn't be able to attend our 40th college reunion because of a schedule conflict, and it was a happy surprise to learn of the planning for a separate reunion of friends across a number of class years.

The college looked beautiful that Friday, as it always does in the fall, and it was a great joy to wander over the campus, checking out the new buildings and feeling nostalgic about all the places Marsha and I  walked together when we first knew each other.  Then when we met up with a group of our old friends for dinner, it was great fun to share old memories and learn about all the developments in their lives since we'd last seen each other.  The next day, we went to a private home to meet with former debaters from all the much later classes, and we found it just as much fun to get to know them.  We all went out to dinner, and then met again in the morning to walk the campus and share a pancake breakfast at Mama Steve's Pancake House.  Our shared experience seemed to connect us all in a big circle of friends.

I was reminded of the old Girl Scout song our kids used to sing:  "Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is Silver and the other Gold."  In the midst of all the changes and urgent demands of our normal lives, it's easy to lose track of old friends and fall out of touch.  I've also known a fair number of people who have found it too challenging to go out of their way to make new friends as they've grown older.  That's sad, because the rewards for friendship are so great.  Even if I am embarrassed by the excess weight I've gained, the hair I've lost, and all the things I've forgotten, it's wonderfully energizing to be reunited with old friends--and it's just as exciting to get to know new people.

Churches should take note.  It takes energy to keep in touch with long-time church family members who have drifted out of sight for unknown reasons.  Even if they suddenly appear back in church for a worship service, everyone knows it's embarrassing to talk to someone whose name may have been forgotten.  At the same time, it may also seem like a lot of effort to seek out and talk to newcomers.  But the rewards of maintaining old friendships and making new ones are so great that all such embarrassment and fatigue should always be brushed aside.  Whenever we do brush aside those lazy, discouraging thoughts, the fun is ready to begin.